Marriage and chastity

Here’s a really great post about marriage and virginity. It’s a very interesting distinction and one that needs to be made–especially as I raise daughters to discern their vocation and the chastity called for in any vocation. Marriage is not “losing” one’s virginity.

What are your thoughts?


Love stories…

I loved reading this post from Sarah Bessy about the love that doesn’t show up in movies and songs. It’s a reminder to cherish our own love story and pass it on to our children. Also, a reminder to cherish our continued and growing love as our family grows.

My thoughts on this in no particular order:

The first time we held hands--and someone happened to catch it on camera.

The first time we held hands–and someone happened to catch it on camera.

1. This year, our anniversary was very much a loving one–but definitely not like in the movies! The Hunter came home from a long day at work to cook very bland food (cheese ravioli with no sauce!) for his morning (read: all-day) sickness afflicted wife. I had laid on the couch all day with Pumpkin watching kids’ shows, and the most I could muster for The Hunter was a little hand-made card that Pumpkin helped me decorate. But what true love!

2. Our love story is full of stories from the time getting to know each other in highschool to the time The Hunter asked me out…and I said “no.” I liked him, but he was younger than me… That guy never gave up! It wasn’t until three years later that his patience paid off!

3. The time The Hunter drove all the way across the country to see me and pick me up from the airport on the other side.

4. When I was abroad and walked around every where with my first generation iPod touch trying to find wifi signals so that I could facebook message or email The Hunter back in the states. And that same iPod touch was filled with a playlist of love songs that he made for me the night before I left.

5. The times we’ve gone hunting, boating, or fishing together.

6. Walks around my parents’ acreage–we didn’t hold hands yet, but what a thrill just walking and talking and getting to know one another better!

7. Our first date: we covered The Hunter’s recent novena to St. Joseph for discernment, and The Hunter asked me what my thoughts were on vaccinations, breastfeeding, and homeschooling. He wasn’t wasting any time… We agreed on everything!

…our love story is better than any movie!

Have a love story or two to share? Please comment!

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Personal Litany: St. Raphael

The first saint in my own personal litany of friends in Heaven is St. Therese. She has been my friend and patroness since I was a very little girl.

It was in college that I grew close to the Archangel, St. Raphael. Of course, I knew his story from the Book of Tobit. He came disguised as a guide and led young Tobias on a journey for his father. Besides helping Tobias to collect money, Raphael also directed him to land a fish that they brought home and used (in a miracle!) to heal Tobit’s eyesight. But that’s not all that Raphael did for Tobias, he also led him on a journey to Ecbatana, the home of Sara–the spouse that God intended for Tobias.

St. Raphael leads Tobias on a journey to his vocation!

St. Raphael leads Tobias on a journey to his vocation!

As I discerned and waited for my own vocation and spouse to become clear to me, I placed myself under St. Raphael’s guidance as well. My motto became “Ambulo Ecbatanis,” “I journey to Ecbatana.” Ecbatana was the town where Sara lived and where Tobias and Sara were wed.

St. Raphael had instructions for Tobias as he entered into marriage:

“The fiend has power over such as go about their marrying with all thought of God shut out of their hearts and minds, wholly intent on their lust, as if they were horse or mule, brutes without reason. Not such be thy mating, when thou hast won thy bride.” (Tobit 6:17-18)

St. Raphael certainly guided me. When we prayed the prayer of Tobit and Sara on our wedding night, we too put our marriage firmly in God’s hands. My husband and I continue to seek St. Raphael’s protection and guidance on us and upon our children and their journeys in life.

St. Raphael, pray for us!

Our anniversary: Prayers at our wedding

Four years ago today was a day of excitement, nervousness, joy, and blessings.

With our souls fresh from confession the night before, we made our vows and received the Holy Eucharist for the first time as husband and wife.


Holy Family holy cards passed out at our wedding to all of our guests.

Our favorite prayers included a memorare to St. Joseph and the 2nd Luminous Mystery, The Wedding Feast at Cana.

Our readings were from Tobit, from Ephesians (husbands love your wives, wives be submissive), and from John (the wedding feast at Cana).

But the most memorable prayer of our wedding was the prayer of Tobias and Sarah that we prayed. We too thanked St. Raphael for leading us on our journey to each other and our vocation.

“Blessed are you, O God of our ancestors;
blessed be your name forever and ever!
Let the heavens and all your creation bless you forever.
You made Adam, and you made his wife Eve to be his helper and support;
and from these two the human race has come.
You said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone; let us make him a helper like himself.’
Now, not with lust,
but with fidelity I take this kinswoman as my wife.
Send down your mercy on me and on her,
and grant that we may grow old together.
Bless us with children.
Amen. Amen.”

-Tobit 8:5-7

Properly caring and feeding my husband: 4 years later

When we got married, a couple with about 25 years head start on us gave us a couple books that they thought every married couple should have. One was by Dave Ramsey on financial freedom, and the other, geared toward the wife, was The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands
(click the link to order it now!).

photo credit: Rosmary, via flickr

photo credit: Rosmary, via flickr


I read the book that fall when The Hunter would be busy with work or school (or hunting), and now, almost four years later, there are things from Dr. Laura’s book that I remember and try to apply in my interactions with my husband. The book is an enjoyable read, full of anecdotes from Dr. Laura’s years of radio shows, call-ins, and letters. It also is not for all marriages (it does not apply to abusive marriages), but for many of us women, raised in today’s world of selfishness and materialism, it is a reminder of how we can be grateful for the love of a good man.

So, here are a few tips thanks to The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands

1. He’s at work because he loves you. Yep, it’s not like he wants to be at work all day and into the night. He would rather be with you and the kids and the dogs. So, when you complain that he’s gone all the time, how can he respond? He’s at work to provide for you, because he loves you, but when you’re sad, he wants to be home and help you! What a quandary.

I do miss my husband when he’s at work, and when he’s at the office late, I let him know that I’m tired and need him home… But thanks to Dr. Laura, I remember to add a “thank you,” and let him know that I know he’s being faithful to work because he’s our provider.

2. He won’t always do chores right. By reading Dr. Laura’s book, I heard stories about men who wanted to help with chores at home (dishes, laundry, etc.), but who’s wives would be upset because they weren’t done right. Those men in the stories would then give up and go back to watching tv since they couldn’t make their wives happy by helping.

Not to say I don’t get frustrated when the cupboard doors are left hanging open, dishes incorrectly placed, or counters dirty, but at least I have the reminder tucked in my head that tells me to thank The Hunter for his help (and ask him if, next time, he could please close the cupboard doors when finished–four years later, he’s getting better!).

Those might not be all that I took away from Dr. Laura’s book, but they are daily a part of my marriage, and I think they help my attitude and happiness as well as his!

Order your copy of the book today! The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands

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